Hey people!

If you're going to leave me a review and you don't like my work, that's all fine and dandy. And even if you do like my work and you want to give me some criticism, sure, why the hell not.

But for Chrysler's sake, what do I look like, a witless drone who follows his orders like an obedient little puppy?

I turn to a recent review left on one of my works:
"this is a kick ass song.
but the beginning sucks.
fix it.
and dont use that gay hit5."

This person, who shall remain nameless, has made a few interesting choices of phrase here, all of which illustrate my point quite clearly.

First of all, note the vagueness of his criticism: "the beginning sucks. Fix it." Here, he fails to clarify just why the beginning sucks, nor does he tell me how he would like it fixed. Is it too long? Too short? Too quiet? Too vague? Well, whatever the reason, it apparently "sucks." Quite helpful.

Second, I don't know what delusions of grandeur are telling him he can be that bossy and rude to me and expect to have his suggestions noted: "Fix it," he says. I feel as if I'm expected to go "yes, sir, and would you like fries with that." Sure. If this dude is reading this right now, I have a quick little message for him: I don't care how many levels you have over me, you don't get to put yourself on a pedestal with MY work.

And third: "And don't use that gay hit5."

Where do I begin here? Well, let's start with the hit5 part. He clearly knows his FruityLoops, that much is for certain. But notice that he doesn't say *why* not to use it, nor does he really explain why it doesn't work. Had he given me the suggestion in a more constructive form, I might well have taken it seriously. But, of course, he didn't, leaving me wondering what's so bad about the darkness and depth of the sample that fits so nicely into the theme of the song.

And, of course, there's his use of the word "gay." It's important to note that - with me at least - whenever I see someone use that word in that way, it bumps my level of respect for them down a good five points. Use it all you want wherever else, but if you want me to take you seriously, adjust your vocabulary.

Now, I do realize that he also said the song kicks ass, and for that I'm perfectly happy. But considering he then proceeded treat me like some kind of subordinate, I can't say I really value his opinion.

In so few words, too...

So, the bottom line here is, people, that if you want to criticize my work, please for the love of pizza make it CONSTRUCTIVE. Give me a rundown on *why* certain parts of the song need improvement. Give me some insight. And treat me as your peer, not your employee. I do not respond well to being talked down to.

Rant over.